


Late Night Confessions

by Kashiimaz



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Universe, Confessions, Domestic Fluff, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Making Out, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:42:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashiimaz/pseuds/Kashiimaz
Summary: “You don’t play fair, Yuuri” Victor says his name as if he’s already making love to him, the two syllables rolling around his mouth and off his tongue like an intimate caress.“All is fair in love and war” Yuuri lifts Victor’s hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles one by one, his lips brushing his skin when he says “Don’t you agree?”





	

If tonight were a typical night in their apartment, Yuuri would be sleeping by now.

Exhaustion would start creeping on him at dinnertime and he would barely keep his eyes open while putting the dirty dishes in the sink. Victor would be worse than him, falling asleep at the dinner table with a fork still in his hand. Yuuri would smile fondly at the scene and if he was feeling like it, he would snap a picture of a drowsy Victor and add it to his private collection. (He has quite a few that would break the internet if he decided to post them on social media). 

Then Yuuri would take him to the bedroom, where he would be persuaded by Victor’s half asleep slurs to skip chores and just join him in the bed, _dirty dishes be damned_. Let’s just say that he is weak to Victor’s sleepy requests. _Very_ weak.  

But tonight they are both wide awake and despite sore feet and aching muscles, Yuuri feels too happy to complain. Actually, he has no reason to complain at all. Yakov took pity on Victor and allowed him a day’s rest and Victor, who was waiting for an opportunity to spend quality time with Yuuri for a very long time, didn’t hesitate to announce that Yuuri will resume practice on Saturday. 

So Victor may have a lot of plans for tomorrow, sightseeing being one of them as he excitedly enumerated all the places he would like to take Yuuri during dinner but for now, Yuuri is the one with the power to decide what they are going to do. And he chooses to watch a movie with Victor, whatever movie Victor feels like watching, he just wants to cuddle on the couch.                

Eventually, they settle into a comfortable position. Victor is half on top of him, half pressed against Yuuri’s side, the heat of his body seeping through clothes and warming his skin. It’s a cold night in St. Petersburg; just like the other ones before were.

 Ever since he moved to Russia, Yuuri feels like he’s putting his body through more than rigorous training. If it wasn’t for his personal furnace (read: Victor) he would freeze to death, he's sure  of it. Yuuri runs a hand absentmindedly through Victor’s hair, the silver strands slipping through his fingers like the most expensive silk he has ever touched. Victor almost purrs in contentment. He looks all the more comfortable now.

“I think I watched this movie when I was in Detroit.” Yuuri's voice is barely above a whisper so as to not disturb their moment of peace and quiet. “Phichit likes romantic comedies.”

“This is a very well-known movie in the romantic comedy genre.” Victor takes his eyes off of the television screen and tilts his head to properly look at him, a fond smile on his face. Yuuri can't help but melt a little. “I've watched this movie so many times but I always find myself enjoying it.”

Yuuri moves Victor’s fringe away from his eye, wishing he had a bobby pin to get his bangs out of his face for more than a couple seconds.

“Why do you like it so much?”

“I don’t know” Victor shrugs. He has a vacant look in his eyes, his expression blank as he returns his attention back to the screen. Yuuri knows Victor only looks like this when he’s recalling a memory far in his past. “I like Henry. I like how patient and persistent he is, even when everything seems lost. I also like how love is depicted here; how they find new things about each other every day despite Lucy’s disability. What happens between them its love at first sight but at the same time it isn’t and that makes the film a bit more relatable to me, I guess. This kind of love, pure and not pretentious… Whenever I watched it, I wondered if I would ever experience that feeling.”

The scene plays right before Yuuri's eyes – almost as if Victor’s words had opened some kind of tear and Yuuri had stepped into the life of a younger Victor without meaning to. He sees him watching this same movie, lying down exactly where Yuuri is now with that same empty expression on his face and Yuuri feels so bad for not being able to do something to soothe his pain, to act as a balm for his loneliness even though there’s nothing he can do because he’s just a ghost revisiting someone else’s memory. Victor’s loneliness rests unbothered underneath his skin, covered by layers of gold; the weight close enough to threaten to break him but Victor was gifted with an elastic heart so it stretches and stretches and stretches... Mend to bend but not break seems more like a curse than a blessing to Yuuri now.

He's aware that it will take time to touch his core, to embrace his pain and loosen the bonds that restringe his heart - Yuuri knows this better than anyone – but for now, open up to each other, slowly but surely, will do them good.

“Do you remember that day in Hasetsu when we went to the ocean? You asked me what I wanted you to be to me…”

 Victor nods.

“Before the accident with a rink mate in Detroit, that girl tried to ask me out on a date several times but I told her that I didn’t have time to do anything beyond skating, sleeping and eating. She thought otherwise. Whenever she saw me, she would try to change my mind. It bothered me so much that I began avoiding her.

And then, the accident happened. I know I’ve hurt her when I pushed her away but at the time, I only thought about myself and how I didn’t want to seem like a weakling. I didn’t think about her feelings. Not even once.” Yuuri pauses and then a wave of color flushes his cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears.

 “It was you who made me think about _love_ and what it meant and means to me. My parents always supported me, even though they don’t know much about figure skating. Minako-sensei’s let me stay in her studio past closing time and taught me ballet without asking a thing in return; Mari nee-san supports me as much as she can, either with words or the very colorful _Yuuri_ banners she carries with her whenever she has the opportunity to travel to see me compete; Yuuko always loved the figure skating world, even more than me in the beginning. We learned your routines until we could almost skate them with our eyes closed. It was fun. Just like Minako-sensei, Yuuko allowed me to practice to my heart’s content when I wasn’t feeling good or just overall bored, saying that Ice Castle was always open for me. Takeshi is a good friend and I’m glad we can get along now and the triplets… well, if they hadn’t uploaded that video of me skating your free program, I don’t think I would be here now.”

Yuuri smiles a little at this particular memory, now recalling fondly everything he felt since Takeshi’s phone call.  

“Celestino played an important role in my career and I still want to apologize to him every time we see each other because I know I wasn’t the most fun athlete he ever worked with. And then there’s Phichit, who made my life in Detroit so much better than it could’ve been. His friendship means a lot to me. All of these different types of love that I’ve been receiving all my life, they made me realize how truly lucky I am.”

Victor has been listening to him spill his heart with rapt attention, his eyes never leaving his face. However, when he stops talking and Victor still remains silent, he chances a glance at his face and frowns upon seeing his expression. Victor looks expectant, waiting for something from Yuuri that the man himself can’t understand.

“What?” He asks as nonchantly as he feels.

“Yuuuuuuuri” Victor whines, taking advantage of his lower body strength to fully straddle him in one swift moment. “What about me?”

Yuuri tries to focus solely on Victor’s words and not, _definitely not_ , on those ravishing long legs and that luxurious ass too close to his…

“Yuuri, are you okay? You’re really red.”

“Hm?” He sounds like a dying creature, which is fine because he feels like he’s going to die at any moment.

To make things worse, Victor decides to sit on his thighs, making himself comfortable there. It’s not like Yuuri never thought about this particular situation before; _if he’s being honest,_ _he may have fantasized about this moment a few times in his teenager years, well deep into the night and in his room back in Hasetsu where he could let himself explore his own thoughts without restrictions_ and that’s what makes him so self-conscious now.

He dreamt about skating on the same ice as Victor but he never even _dared_ to imagine that one day, his fantasy would come true. (That's why it's a fantasy, it's not supposed to come true!) Victor Nikiforov had once belonged to the realm of unicorns and knights in shining armors. A prince charming of fairytales.

Now, Victor Nikiforov is close enough for Yuuri to touch if he so desires. He can caress his warm skin with his fingers and inhale his spicy scent until it mingles with his own. He’s allowed to do that and much more. _Wow_.

“Yuuri?” Victor tries again, his voice full of concern. “Are you feeling unwell? I’m going to…”

Yuuri acts before he processes what he’s doing. Sitting up abruptly, he grabs Victor’s hips and pulls him against his body. It catches Victor off guard, his hands instinctively flying to Yuuri’s shoulders to steady himself. They stay like this for a few minutes, Victor’s fingernails nearly digging through his t-shirt and Yuuri’s hands gripping his hips with a sort of possessiveness he’s not used to. (It least not this unexpectedly.)

Victor recovers faster and fares much better than him, wrapping his arms around his neck in an intimate embrace. With every tick of the clock, Yuuri becomes aware of all the places they’re touching and what can happen if he decides to move…

“You’re full of surprises, Yuuri” Victor says in that deep tone of his that makes Yuuri go weak in the knees. Glad he’s not standing. 

“I-I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this.” Yuuri says, but makes no move to step away from Victor’s personal space. Yuuri is embarrassed, feels his face as hot as boiling water but there’s no way he can’t deny his own feelings. He likes this close proximity, to touch Victor like no one else can. It’s an exhilarating feeling.  

Victor chuckles, his fringe tickling Yuuri’s cheek when he moves his head to whisper in his ear.

“You didn’t answer my question, Yuuri.”

Yuuri swallows, his throat suddenly very dry.

“What question?”

“What kind of love did I give you?”

“What kind…” Yuuri flexes his fingers nervously, his heart hammering in his chest as he mulls over Victor’s words.

 _Love_ , for lack of a better word, was what Yuuri called to what he felt for Victor when their relationship was still new. The new, strange and exhilarant emotions blossoming inside him were too hard to describe so he chose to feel instead of trying to find the right words. That didn’t change, despite everything that happened between them. Even if he wants to find an answer to that question, he still can’t express himself properly. Yuuri can’t put into words what Victor means to him. It will always feel like it’s not enough and Victor deserves everything.

“It’s… I… You” Yuuri tries anyway, biting his lip in frustration when the words don’t come out the way he wants to. “I can’t explain.”

“Hm. Why?”

Victor kisses him briefly on the jaw, a very effective way of distracting him. Yuuri remains silent and Victor takes the opportunity to kiss him again, this time right below his ear. Yuuri tries to hold back a shudder but his body betrays him and he trembles under Victor’s touch, already at his mercy. Victor hums again and Yuuri feels his smile against his skin. He’s too amused by Yuuri’s reactions to his touch or his inability to come up with an answer, he’s not sure which one is the winner. 

“I know what you mean to me, Yuuri” He says. “I’ve known it way before you put a ring on my finger.”

“What I mean to you...”

Yuuri knows that sometimes he can get a little too self-centered and forget that he’s not the only one with doubts and fears and _feelings_. Victor must have asked himself that same question a few times and unlike Yuuri, he had come up with an acceptable answer.

 _Relationships_ , Minako said to him when she got very drunk on his farewell party, _aren’t black and white_. _Everyone makes mistakes, misunderstandings happen even when two people know each other for years and all couples fight over silly things. No one’s perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. But Yuuri, don’t be afraid of saying what you feel and of course, let Victor do the same. Miscommunication can kill a relationship, even one as strong as yours._

Yuuri‘s inexperience when it comes to _romantic_ _love_ will always feel like a disadvantage to him, no matter how much Victor tries to prove him otherwise. He never opened up to anyone, never trusted anyone enough to allow them to see and accept the ugly parts of him: his anxiety, his lack of confidence, his depressive thoughts, his selfishness… He thought he didn’t need someone to open all the locks leading to the most private rooms inside his heart. And then, Victor happened and turned his world upside down.

The thing is, Yuuri wants Victor as close as possible. Even if it makes him feel vulnerable and raw. Yuuri wants quiet nights watching romantic comedies with Victor, their legs tangled on the couch and Makkachin peacefully sleeping next to them; he wants to finish practice and return to _their_ apartment; hell, he even wants to face the cold weather every single day if that means he gets to hear Victor say ‘ _Welcome back’_ to him. Suddenly, when Yuuri asks himself what Victor means to him, only a word comes to mind:

“ _Home_.”

Victor pulls away just enough to look at Yuuri, his eyes searching his face. Their eyes meet and Yuuri realizes that he thought out loud and that’s why Victor is looking at him like that.

“Were you thinking about Hasetsu?” Victor asks, furrowing his brow.

“No” Yuuri says, his lips curving upward as a genuine smile reaches his eyes. “I was thinking about you.”

Victor blinks and Yuuri can almost see the gears turning in his brain, his words being absorbed and properly digested. As soon as realization hits him, his eyes grow impossibly wide and his lips open just a fraction as if he’s going to say something. He doesn’t. Instead, Victor hides his expression behind an open palm and stays suspiciously silent.

“Are you crying?” Yuuri asks, trying to pry the hand away from his face. Victor makes a strangled noise, a sort of sob that sounds like a groan. That answers Yuuri’s question all the same.

Feeling bold, Yuuri slips his fingers under Victor’s sweatshirt, his cold hands touching burning skin. Victor gasps, squirming with discomfort at first contact. Yuuri bites a smile, running his hands slowly up Victor’s sides, his fingers tentative and careful and _oh so curious_ to explore the soft skin under them. He puts his left hand on Victor’s hip and his right slides up his belly, his middle finger circling his navel a few times just to rile him up. Victor bites his lip under Yuuri’s ministrations, so affected by his partner’s boldness that he can’t help but peek through his fingers to look at Yuuri.

Yuuri keeps his head low, lets his hand rest on his stomach, his abs tightening under his fingers. It should be illegal to have such a well-defined body. Victor takes Yuuri’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and gently lifts his head. Yuuri is instantly drawn to the wet trails on his cheeks. He had seen them once before and okay, maybe he acted like a jerk when he saw Victor cry but really, he had never seen anyone cry so beautifully in his whole life and he felt the urge to see it better. _Not_ a very smart move on his part because Victor was angry and he was responsible for his instability. Although, he can’t say he wholly regrets it.

 _Victor’s a pretty crier_. _I_ _almost want to make him cry more._

Victor takes Yuuri’s glasses off and sets them carefully on the small dresser behind Yuuri. The room instantly blurs around him but Victor makes sure he’s busy enough to forget about his short-sightedness.

Victor’s lips move gently and sensually over his, albeit keeping it chaste like he usually does when they start making out. Yuuri can be inexperienced relationship-wise but he grew very familiar with the art of kissing after moving to Russia. In these months, Yuuri has learned that Victor Nikiforov, a living legend of figure skating, is also a damn good kisser.   

Usually, when they feel like making out or have the time for it, Victor takes the lead, always treating Yuuri as if he’s a delicate thing meant to be touched with reverent fingers. On most days, Yuuri _craves_ the soft and reassuring touches, too tired to try anything else. But today is not one of those days.

Today he wants to push Victor’s buttons until he starts craving more than soft kisses and hands under sweatshirts. Today he wants to change the rules of the game until one of them breaks. Yuuri is sure that Victor will not mind losing.  

When Victor gets comfortable setting the pace, Yuuri sets his plan into motion. His forefinger draws a convoluted pattern from his navel to his chest, tracing the ridges of his abs as innocently as possible. Victor makes a pleased sound, deep in his throat and his left hand slides down Yuuri’s cheek to his jaw, his thumb caressing his skin.

The hand resting on Victor’s hip starts its own journey up his body. He takes it slow, just like Victor expects him to act. With both hands touching his chest, Yuuri rakes his nails across his sensitive nipples, kissing him harder.

Victor moans, almost breaking the kiss. Yuuri takes advantage of his open mouth to take Victor’s lip between his, nipping on his lower lip with his teeth. Victor hums, his tongue flicking out to run across his upper lip. Yuuri parts them without hesitation, letting their kiss become deeper, wetter and all the more pleasant.

Eventually, he lowers himself down on the couch, pulling Victor on top of him without detaching their mouths. This close, Yuuri can smell Victor’s powerful and intrinsically masculine scent without effort. It works like a drug, intoxicating him until he can no longer see or smell anything but _Victor_. It turns him on even more. There’s greed in his veins and lust in his eyes and he wants to feel skin on skin before he loses his mind.

Their sweatshirts come off with far more haste than grace, both throwing the discarded items of clothing to some obscure corner of the room. It’s not the first time that he sees Victor half naked – actually, he got used to Victor’s various stages of nakedness when they were just coach and athlete – but this is the first time that taking off clothes means more than taking a bath or going to sleep.  

Yuuri chances a glance at Victor, expecting to see desire mirrored on his face. He’s not disappointed. Victor couldn’t hide the signs of arousal even if he tried. His pupils are dilated and he has this look of _want_ in his eyes that makes Yuuri want to fall on his knees and thank every single deity he knows for Victor’s existence for the rest of his life. He licks his lips in anticipation.

Victor follows the movement with rapt attention, his lips red, swollen and _inviting._ Yuuri wants to _taste_ him again.

“You don’t play fair, _Yuuri_ ” Victor says his name as if he’s already making love to him, the two syllables rolling around his mouth and off his tongue like an intimate caress.

“All is fair in love and war” Yuuri lifts Victor’s hand to his mouth and kisses his knuckles one by one, his lips brushing his skin when he says “Don’t you agree?”

Then, he drags his lips down Victor’s middle finger, placing small kisses as he watches Victor come undone before him. Never breaking eye contact, Yuuri slips the tip of Victor’s middle finger between his lips and slides it inside his mouth, giving a suggestive lick for good measure. Yuuri can pinpoint the exact moment Victor’s control snaps.

One minute Yuuri is half lying down on the couch and the next he’s being yanked upwards by Victor’s hand around his wrist and thrown over his shoulder like he weighs nothing. Victor, who is famous for his beauty, grace and elegance on and off the ice, just threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Yuuri loves it.

At this point, Yuuri knows that it’s impossible to hide his erection from Victor. He’s pretty sure his cock is poking Victor in the shoulder, the friction between fabric and skin a pleasant reminder of his arousal.  Yuuri feels himself flush.

They step into their bedroom and Yuuri hears Victor close the door and lock it in one swift movement before throwing him on the bed. He bounces clumsily, the motion far from being the sexiest thing he did today.

Yuuri props himself on his elbows, waiting for Victor to join him in the bed but he looks content just admiring Yuuri’s body. Well, it’s not like Yuuri hasn’t done the same before. He lets his eyes travel over Victor’s body, drinking in his tousled silver hair, his flushed cheeks, his toned chest and stomach…

“Like what you see?” Victor teases, playing with the string of his sweatpants.

Yuuri looks up into his face, smirking.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Victor chuckles lowly, his smile turning dangerous.

“Yuuri, you can’t even being to imagine how much I _love_ what I see.”

Yuuri shivers and he lets out a small groan when his cock throbs against his sweatpants. If Victor doesn’t join him soon, he might start alone… Maybe that’s what he wants. He wants Yuuri to put on a show _just for him_.

“You know,” Yuuri unties the string of his sweatpants, ignoring the flush of his cheeks, “you can do more than watch.”

Victor steps closer to the bed, looming over him.

“Do you want me, Yuuri?”

 _God, wasn’t I obvious enough?_ , Yuuri almost laughs in disbelief. But then he gets it. This isn’t just about the physical part. People can have sex for several reasons, some of them have nothing to do with feelings. Yuuri never asked about Victor’s partners – and he certainly doesn’t want to find out what he did with them – but he _knows_ that their relationship is different. This is not a one-time thing. They are not friends with benefits. Yuuri wants Victor today. And tomorrow. And if time flies by in the blink of an eye like people often say, he’s selfish enough to ask for eternity.

“Victor,” Yuuri says, his tone soft and so affectionate that he barely recognizes his own voice. He’s not the greatest at expressing his feelings but he wants Victor to understand this more than anything. “I _need_ you.”

Victor, usually so fond of saying what’s on his mind in moments like this, lets his hands and mouth do the talking. Yuuri wouldn’t have it any other way. Their teeth clash, their tongues tangle, their lips kiss every body part they happen to come across. Yuuri tries to slide his sweatpants down his legs with one hand but they get caught around his ankles, restraining his movements and bothering him to no end.

“ _Victor_ ” He groans in frustration, making one final attempt to free his legs and failing miserably.

Victor laughs against his neck, doing absolutely nothing to help him with the damn sweatpants. Instead, he keeps placing open mouthed kisses down his throat. As much as he enjoys the sensation, Yuuri wants to feel skin on skin. So the damn sweatpants have to go.  

Yuuri tangles his fingers in Victor’s hair and gives it a not so gentle tug to remind him of his predicament. It backfires because Victor lets out a loud moan, his cock twitching against Yuuri’s hip and Yuuri doesn’t know if it’s Victor’s reaction to the hair pulling or feeling his teeth catch against the flesh of his neck, sucking it into his mouth that makes precum dribble down his shaft. Either way, his boxers are ruined.

Victor follows his own agenda, leaving Yuuri’s body covered in hickeys, some of them so high up his neck that he will not be able to cover them. (That’s why he put them there in the first place) When Victor’s fingers finally, _finally_ , hook into the waistband of his boxers, Yuuri’s heart is hammering in his chest, his breath coming in gasps and his cock _aching_ to be touched.     

“Do you want this off too?” Victor taunts, sliding the fabric down his hip bones just a fraction. Yuuri’s breathe hitches.

“ _Please_.”

Yuuri lifts his hips to help pull his boxers off, his hard cock springing free. Victor tugs his sweatpants the rest of the way, leaving him bare. Yuuri is glad he can’t see himself right now because that would make him twice as self-conscious. Well, sort of. The way Victor is looking at him, at every mark he left on his body, at every mole and every stretch mark marring his skin like Yuuri is not real is making him nervous.

If all the _accidental_ ass grabbing moments during practice are anything to go by, Victor finds him attractive. Yuuri knows he has a great ass and he can distract Victor with just the sway of his hips but he has never been this exposed in front of him. He’s always wearing a costume or a few layers of clothing when he acts like his _Eros_ persona, storing his imperfections somewhere safe as he convinces himself and everyone who’s watching him that he’s always that confident and comfortable in his skin. But now Victor can see _everything_ and he _needs_ this _, craves_ it even, but he also wants to cover himself and go jerk off in the bathroom.

Yuuri is so deep in his thoughts that he barely registers Victor’s words whispered against his temple. 

“What did you say?” Yuuri asks, looking at him from the corner of his eye.  

“I said,” Victor purrs, his lips brushing his “that you’re beautiful.” Then he kisses him slow and deep like the first kiss they shared tonight. Yuuri closes his eyes, fighting back the embarrassment and his self-confidence issues as he lets himself enjoy the kiss. “Gorgeous” Victor pulls away after a few minutes and touches his forehead to his, their breaths mingling like they need to breathe each other’s oxygen to stay alive.  “Perfect. Yuuri, you’re perfect and I’m going to make you feel _amazing_.”

Yuuri‘s back arches off the bed, hoping for some kind of friction but Victor is already getting up. He reaches for the bedside table, taking a bottle of lube and a condom from the first drawer and tossing the items on the bed, right next to Yuuri. Then, he hooks his thumbs under the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear and pulls them off very slowly, his thick length barely bobbing forward with the motion.

Yuuri’s mouth waters at the private show and he’s forced to swallow the excessive saliva in his mouth before it becomes too obvious that he’s feeling rather desperate to have Victor inside him.  

“How do you want it, Yuuri?”

 _How?_ Yuuri didn’t think that far. He just wants Victor, doesn’t care which position the man takes him. He knows it’s going to feel unbelievably good because it’s _Victor_. That’s all that matters to him.

Still, Victor is set on making Yuuri’s dreams and fantasies come true, a _people’s pleaser by nature_ and Yuuri is not going to deny him that.  

So he spreads his legs invitingly, gazing into Victor’s eyes with as much confidence as he can muster.

“Like this. I want to look at your face while you fuck me.”

Victor groans, deep in his throat, and Yuuri can’t help but wonder if Victor would be able to get off with just Yuuri talking dirty to him. No touching, only the sound of his voice saying the filthiest things he could imagine. Somehow, having that much power over Victor makes another wave of pleasure ripple through his body and more precum dribbles down from his cock, dirtying the sheets.

“You have no idea what you do to me, Yuuri” Victor says as he kneels between his open legs.

Yuuri watches as he clicks open the bottle of lube.  

“Tell me, then.”

“You make me _crazy_ with sheer desire.” He coats his fingers with lube, rubbing them together to warm the clear liquid. “You know how hard it is to keep myself from touching you during practice?”

“You’re always touching me, Vic…” Yuuri says, his breath catching in his throat as Victor lightly presses his lubed finger against his entrance. It’s wet and cold despite Victor’s efforts to warm it up.

“I don’t touch you the way I want to, Yuuri. But I think about it. _All. The. Time_ ” Victor circles his rim a couple of times, spreading the lube as evenly as possible before sliding the tip of his index finger inside. Yuuri gasps against the friction. It’s a weird sensation to describe. Uncomfortable in a way he thought it wouldn’t be. The prodding, even if careful and gentle, makes Yuuri squirm.

“Sometimes you do it on purpose, don’t you?”

Yuuri opens his eyes, unaware they were even closed, to look at Victor.

“What?”

“The swing of your hips, your hands roaming over your body, the stretches… God, the stretches” Victor thrusts his finger past his knuckle and Yuuri hisses as he tries to squirm away. 

Victor uses his free hand to pin his hips back to the bed, letting Yuuri adjust to the stretch for as long as he needs.

“You’re so tight, Yuuri” Victor says, caressing the back of his thigh in a soothing way. ”If you relax, it will start feeling good soon.”

Yuuri changes his breathing pattern to match Victor’s, trying to loosen up and accept the intrusion. If he can’t take a single finger, how the hell is he going to take Victor’s thick length inside him? Somehow, the thought makes him tense even more. Yuuri grits his teeth, frustrated with his body’s reaction to Victor’s touch.

“ _Yuuri_.”

The way Victor says his name, his voice serious and full of concern, makes Yuuri guess what he’s going to ask even before the dreading words come out of his mouth. He’s having none of that.

“No.” Yuuri shakes his head, his eyes never straying from his. “I want this. I want _you_. It’s just my body… I think I need a distraction.”

Victor taps his index finger against his lips, deep in thought.

“A distraction, you say.”

“Yeah. Maybe you should talk to me like you were doing before or something like that, _I don’t know_.” Yuuri bites his lip. _Anything to make me relax._

“Oh!” His face brightens up and his eyes shine with excitement as an idea takes shape in his mind. “I know what I can do to distract you, Yuuri. Tell me if you don’t like it, ok?”

Yuuri gives him a reassuring smile.

“Of cour… _Hmm._ ”

Victor starts placing small, playful kisses down his stomach and over his hip bones, tickling his sensitive skin to his heart’s content. Yuuri gasps when Victor’s tongue decides to join the teasing, tasting his scent over and over again. Having Victor above him, worshipping him like he was born to do it, sends a surge of pleasure down his spine and he feels himself become more pliant under Victor’s touch.

Victor feels the slight change and draws his finger out just to thrust it back inside. Yuuri still winces in pain against the stretch but it doesn’t hurt as much as it did the first time, which makes him extremely relieved. Victor sets a slow rhythm against him, progressively pushing longer and harder as Yuuri grows more and more comfortable. 

Eventually, Yuuri starts lifting his hips into it, seeking the friction and the pressure inside him, demanding _more_. Victor gives him exactly what he’s asking for. Bored of kissing his way up his inner thighs, Victor decides to wrap a hand around his cock and lick him slowly from base to tip, from tip to base, his blue-green eyes intent on consuming Yuuri until his body becomes a well-played instrument.

Yuuri’s back arches off the bed and he lets out a loud moan. He thought his body couldn’t heat up more but here he is, feeling like his skin is on fire. These are way too many first times for a day but if they are going to keep feeling this good, Yuuri doesn’t mind turning into a furnace.

The pain from being stretched had made his cock soften so Victor takes full advantage of the situation by rolling him around his mouth a few times before sucking the head _hard._ Yuuri’s body twitches, the hot, wet heat of his mouth setting every nerve in his body alight. If it felt good before, now it feels _amazing._

 Yuuri had thought about blowjobs. To be more specific, he thought about how he would feel receiving one from Victor. The images his mind came up with always made him very aroused, his imagination working in his favor every time. Still, this is one of those cases where reality far surpasses all expectations. Not even in his wildest dreams had Yuuri imagined such exquisite sensations.

“ _Victor_ ” Yuuri whines, clenching the sheets tightly into his fists. He feels himself growing in Victor’s mouth.

Victor hums and the vibration of his voice sends shockwaves of pleasure through his body. Yuuri’s unable to stop himself from jerking his hips upward, forcing him farther into Victor’s mouth. That seems to be the right thing to do because Victor takes him until his length hits the back of his throat. Yuuri barely registers a second finger entering him, the feeling of being stretched again being subdued by Victor hollowing out his cheeks and sucking hard, the tightness over his length nearly making him delirious.

Victor scissors his fingers within him, dragging them out and back in a steady rhythm. His teeth lightly scrape over his sensitive tip as he curls his fingers inside Yuuri.

Yuuri cries out in pleasure, his hand flying to his mouth to muffle the sounds because that was one hell of a _loud_ moan.

Victor flicks his eyes up to meet Yuuri’s, his lips still stretched beautifully around his cock. He looks flushed, disheveled and so undone that Yuuri can barely believe this is the same man who pouts every time Yuuri has to drag him to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

Victor pulls his lips off, the tip of his tongue flicking the tip for good measure before detaching. Yuuri stifles another whimper.  

“Yuuri” His voice sounds rough and it cracks a little around the syllables. His bottom lip juts out in a pout, pretending to sulk. “Why are you covering your mouth? Let me hear you, lyubov moya.”

Victor doesn’t mind Yuuri’s overly vocal tendencies, he _actually_ wants to hear every sound that comes out of Yuuri’s mouth. That should be enough to make him stop being so embarrassed of pretty much everything he does, right? Wrong. No matter how much he wants to enjoy their first time together the way they both deserve, he can’t stop these random moments of embarrassment and doubt where he can’t completely let go of his inhibitions. There’s no off switch to this because if such thing existed, his life would be so much better than it already is.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Yuuri” Victor’s voice is barely above a whisper, his expression soft and full of adoration. “You’re so beautiful and talented and hard-working and you fight for the things you want even when you have to fight yourself to get them. You always do your best and push yourself mentally and physically to the limit every time you put on your skates. And the way your body creates music…” Victor curls his fingers again, watching Yuuri buck his hips as he lets out a string of curse words in Japanese. This is the first time in his life that his stamina is letting him down. Yuuri feels heat pool in the pit of his stomach, pleasure mounting and drowning him with every burning touch. He’s getting too close to the edge.  

“I just want you to make you feel good, Yuuri. Allow me to make you feel good.”

Yuuri lowers his arm to his side, not hiding himself from Victor anymore. He nods.

Victor gives him a quick kiss on the mouth before adding another finger, thrusting them in and out with ease. Yuuri squeezes his eyes shut, trembling with the effort of self-restraint.

Yuuri can only hear his harsh breathing, his body writhing in pleasure as Victor keeps preparing him for a bigger intrusion. He could cry with how good this all feels, how pleasure and pressure seems to build inside him until he’s reading to burst. After so much build up, he almost comes when Victor grazes his prostate, his nails digging into Victor’s back to warn him of how close he is.

Suddenly the blinding heat and pleasure disappears and Yuuri shudders at the loss and emptiness that follows. He hears movement somewhere near him, opening his eyes to see Victor tearing open the condom wrapper with his teeth. Yuuri closes his eyes tightly again, a wave of color flushing his cheeks. This moment, and everything about it, will forever be ingrained in his mind.

Victor presses their foreheads together and although he can’t see him, he can _feel_ him. Yuuri is one hundred percent sure that if he told Victor he didn’t want this, Victor would give him space and time to collect himself. They would talk about what happened when Yuuri felt comfortable enough to approach the subject and Victor would hold his hand throughout the whole thing, supporting him as best as he could. Victor would never belittle his feelings and he would get upset with Yuuri for doing that to himself. That’s the kind of person he is.   

“Yuuri, can I ask you something?” Victor whispers against his temple, his plea as soft as his voice.

Yuuri nods.

“Are you happy?”

Yuuri freezes, his breath catching in his throat as the question hangs awkwardly in the air. When he opens his eyes, Victor pulls back a little so Yuuri can look at him without going cross-eyed. Victor looks vulnerable, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth and clenching and unclenching his fists while he waits for an answer. Victor can be a bit of an airhead sometimes but he wouldn’t ask such thing lightheartedly. Judging by his expression, it doesn’t even seem like it was a fleeting thought that he couldn’t control. Victor must have wanted to ask him that for a while.

“Are you asking me if I’m happy right now?” Yuuri props himself on his elbows, forcing Victor to kneel between his legs. This is not the ideal moment or position to have this conversation, especially when there’s a more pressing matter to deal with but he can’t exactly tell Victor to save the talk for later and just fuck him. This is important.  

Victor runs a hand through his hair, moving his bangs out from his eyes for a few seconds before he drops his arm and faces Yuuri with a look of resolute determination on his face.

“Yes, but not just right now. I’m asking if you’re happy here, in St. Petersburg. If you’re happy living with me. If you’re happy wi…”

 _Oh._ Yuuri doesn’t wait for Victor to finish. He pushes himself up to a kneeling position and reaches up to gently cradle his face in his hands, his gaze steady.   

“Victor, you make me so happy that sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.” Yuuri rubs a thumb over Victor’s cheek, smiling fondly at him. “I’m the happiest person alive when I’m with you.”

It’s actually funny to watch Victor’s reactions to his confession; how he pauses to assimilate the information, his eyes growing impossibly wide when he truly gets it and the way his face lights up with a smile of pure delight just makes Yuuri feel glad that he was honest with his feelings.

There was a time when Yuuri thought he could retire and let Victor come back to the ice where he always belonged. Yuuri thought he was ready to let Victor go without regrets. That’s why he gave everything he had in his free skate. Yuuri needed a flawless performance for a chance at the gold, but it wasn’t just the gold that he was after. He wanted his free skate to have the same difficulty as Victor’s. An adequate goodbye to Victor as his coach. _Watch my performance._ _Your break wasn’t a waste of time,_ he was saying to him throughtout his performance. Breaking Victor’s record was the living proof that he had never skated better in his whole life.

And then he saw Yuri Plisetsky skate and he couldn’t look away from his passion and overflowing talent. He knew Yuri was going to win gold and he also knew with every fiber of his being that he wanted another shot at the gold with Victor by his side. It only made sense with Victor. After all, didn’t all started because of him?

A tickling sensation on the inside of his wrist brings him back to reality. Yuuri watches with rapt attention Victor pressing his lips against his pulse point, leaving a trail of small kisses at first then letting his teeth scrape over the skin, not quite biting it.

“I like the way you look when you’re thinking about me” Victor says, smiling teasingly when Yuuri turns bright red.

“Don’t you think you have teased me enough?” Yuuri playfully glares at him.

“I’m not teasing you, Yuuri” Victor says, taking Yuuri’s hand and placing a kiss on his engagement ring “I’m just stating a fact.”

Yuuri rubs his free hand over his face, exasperation tinging his next words.

“Do you want to keep stating facts or do you want to resume what we were doing?”

“It’s your first time,” Victor pouts slightly, “I want it to be good for you.”

“It’s already good, Victor. It’s with you, after all.”

A fierce blush spreads across Victor’s cheeks and he opens his mouth to say something in retaliation but Yuuri decides to put his mouth to better use. Their lips meet once more, Yuuri taking the lead. He tangles his hand in Victor’s hair, letting him taste a sample of his hunger for more.

Victor gasps in surprise at first contact but quickly melts under his touch, giving everything he has to the burning kiss. Slow, deep kisses are Victor’s specialty; he has the skill to render Yuuri boneless with the slightest swipe of his tongue over his bottom lip and although the motions are very pleasant for both of them, Yuuri can’t say that making Victor forget about technique and kiss him stupid isn’t one of his favorite things to do. Victor places a hand on Yuuri’s hip as he gently pushes him down. Yuuri happily lies down again, dragging Victor with him.

“Tomorrow I’ll give you a proper blowjob, I promise” He murmurs against Yuuri’s open lips, kissing his bottom lip briefly as he reaches for the discarded condom. 

 _Wasn’t that a proper blowjob?_ He thinks briefly. Well, that doesn’t matter now.

“C’mon, Victor, I can’t wait anymore” Yuuri complains, watching dazedly as Victor rolls the condom down his length. He coats his length with lube, stroking himself a couple of times to spread the clear liquid. Everything about the sight makes his throat go dry and desire pool in the pit of his stomach. This is going to happen.  

“Ah, talking about your famous stamina…” Yuuri gasps when he feels Victor’s length teasing his entrance. His legs tighten around Victor as Yuuri crosses his ankles behind his back. “I wonder if your stamina is as good off the ice as it is on it…”

Slowly, Victor presses himself forward, inch by inch. Once he’s fully sheathed inside, he stops moving, giving Yuuri time to adjust. Yuuri takes deep breaths, trying to relax as much as he possibly can but everything is so new and he feels so _full_. If someone had told him he would be here now, that his first time will be with Victor Nikiforov, someone he’d respected and admired for so many years, his idol and inspiration, he would think they were out of their mind. Someone as insignificant as him in the figure skating world could never grab Victor Nikiforov’s attention.

Now, as Yuuri looks at Victor and realizes how much he trusts this man, how much he _means_ to him, he can’t help but feel a wave of affection for Victor that takes away the remaining tension. He will never be as prepared as he is now.

“You can move now” Yuuri says, running his thumb over Victor’s cheek. Victor nuzzles his hand, kissing it before he starts moving.

Victor sets an achingly slow rhythm at first, careful as to not hurt Yuuri in any way. It takes a while for Yuuri to start seeking the friction but when he does, the pleasure is absolutely overwhelming and his hips try to push up to meet him half way.

“ _Ah, Yuuri_ ” Victor says his name like a prayer, which makes him involuntarily clench around his cock. Victor moans in return, quickening his pace.

He starts doing full thrusts, pulling back almost all the way and slamming inside with ease. Supporting his body weight with just one hand, Victor wraps the other around Yuuri’s leaking cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Yuuri would be perfectly fine (more than fine, really) coming like this but Victor has other plans.

Slowing his thrusts, Victor grabs the back of his thighs and moves Yuuri’s legs onto his shoulders, almost bending him in half. The new angle has Victor sliding in deeper and Yuuri is suddenly very thankful for his flexibility because if he weren’t an athlete whose body is constantly pushed to the very limit, he would be in trouble now.

Victor shifts slightly on his knees to set a quick pace once more and that’s when Yuuri feels him hit that specific spot inside him that leaves him seeing stars. His back arches off the bed and he cries out in pleasure.

“Oh? Did I find it?” Victor angles his hips to make sure he grazes his prostate again.

Yuuri’s eyes roll back in his head, toes curling into the mattress as he feels his prostate getting hit every single thrust. Sweat beads on his skin, sticking his bangs to his forehead until he can barely see. Victor notices his discomfort and brushes the hair away from his eyes, combing his fingers through the strands.

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri” He can’t help saying it, his voice coming out rough and strained. Yuuri swallows and looks up into Victor’s face, taking him in. His cheeks are flushed, lips red and swollen and his eyes are dark with lust and adoration. If Yuuri is beautiful, Victor is ethereal.

Yuuri frees one of his hands from the rumpled sheets to mimic Victor’s gesture, tangling his fingers in the silken strands. Victor bends his head down to capture his lips in a sweet kiss that turns desperate when Yuuri sucks Victor’s bottom lip into his mouth.

As expected, things get out of hand from there. Victor starts thrusting faster and deeper into Yuuri, encouraged by his loud moans and attempts to grind back against him. His hand slides down Yuuri’s body and wraps around his length, pumping made easy by the amount of precome dripping from the slit.

“ _Ah, Vitya_. _”_

Victor nearly chokes, bucking his hips harder than intended. Yuuri’s hips arch off the mattress. He’s not going to last much longer.

“Say it again, Yuuri. _Please_.”

Yuuri chants his name until he can’t say it anymore, his mouth opening to let out a soundless scream as his body tenses and he spills all over Victor’s hand and his chest.

He goes boneless, his mind blissfully blank. It feels like he’s in a higher plane of existence, the aftershocks of pleasure still echoing through him and making him involuntarily twitch and groan.   

When he starts coming down from the high, he realizes that Victor’s still hard inside him, rocking his hips in a slower rhythm so as to not overwhelm him. Even when he’s aching for release, Victor manages to hold back for his sake. Yuuri swallows the lump in his throat, focusing instead on bringing him to orgasm.

“Vitya” Yuuri whispers once again, sated and just _happy._

It doesn’t take much for Victor to come; two full thrusts and Yuuri clenching around his cock and then he’s thickening even more inside him, coming with Yuuri’s name on his lips. It’s a sight to behold, one that Yuuri knows he will recall when he and Victor have separate competitions to attend to. Victor pants heavily above him as he tries to come back from his blissful state. As soon as Victor regains the ability to move, he slowly pulls out from Yuuri, slipping off of the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. Yuuri grimaces at the loss and the slight feeling of pain and soreness that follows the motion.

As Yuuri stretches his legs, he hears his hips joints make a satisfying crack. 

Victor returns with a warm, wet towel and no signs of a soiled condom.

“Don’t move, solnyshko, let me clean you up first.”

Victor is attentive and careful, cleaning Yuuri’s chest and length with devotion. Yuuri shudders, his body still oversensitive but let’s Victor do whatever he wants. Once he’s cleaned up, Victor helps him get under the covers as he settles beside him.

Yuuri nuzzles his head into his chest and Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri’s waist, sighing in contentment.

“Let’s go sightseeing tomorrow.” Victor says, pressing his smile into Yuuri’s hair.

“If I can walk, I don’t see why not.” Yuuri closes his eyes, finally feeling the exhaustion of the day taking over his body.

“Hmmm…” He squirms, clearly wanting to say more but for some reason not saying what’s on his mind.

“What?” Yuuri asks, giving his shoulder a nudge.

“I’m just honored that you allowed me to be your first. Thank you, Yuuri.”

Maybe it’s Victor’s voice full of love that makes him emotional. Or maybe he’s still sensitive from a very satisfying orgasm and that’s what makes his eyes shine with unshed tears. Whatever it is, he’s the one who’s the most grateful.

_You’ve never been anything but my first in everything, Victor._

Yuuri presses his lips right over his heart, kissing it with reverence. Victor gets it. Of course he does.

It's mutual, after all.    

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started as 'Well, I want to write victuuri being incredibly sappy with each other' and then became 'Well, i'm writing smut for the first time for victuuri and... may the force be with me'
> 
> So, this is the result of my effort and i'm happy with it. I hope you guys like it ^^
> 
> Find me on twitter: @MOYASHIIS


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